Want The Good News or Bad News?
What a day it has been, I really don’t know where to start.
At the beginning I suppose…
Went into the clinic this morning to have the scan, was told that Indigo is measuring around 10lbs and that the waist measurements are off the scale (meaning shoulders could be large too and lead to shoulder dysoctia). I’m also carrying A LOT of amniotic fluid. Chris (the sonographer/midwife) said there’s no way she’d be happy to let me give birth at home or even the birthcentre so she’s referred me to the hospital 
Jeff drove us to B & Q where we sat in the car park for a while to discuss our options. I cried, a lot and to be honest my head was so messed up at this point I didn’t know what to think. Instead I told Jeff to open the envelope Chris gave us containing Indigo’s gender. He didn’t want to know until Indi’s arrival but it really softened the blow for me (find out boy or girl later 
). Jeff is really concerned and just wants me and Indi here safe and sound. I wanted to carry on with my homebirth plan but this is my first baby and to be honest I’m scared now! I’m still confident in my body’s ability to birth our baby but I’m scared of anything going wrong and not getting to the hospital in time - the hospital is 30-40 minutes away. I’m feeling like a complete failure about this now, succumbing to ‘their’ protocol. Anyway, we went into B & Q to buy some herb seeds and pots. After waddling around for 10 minutes I started to get immense backpain and then it travelled around to the front. It got so bad I had to go to the bathroom to breathe through it! Needless to say we got out of there sharpish!
On the way home we stopped at Nancy’s (MIL) for a quick cup of tea. We didn’t mention the whole having to go to hospital thing, just that baby’s going to be big and they’re going to keep an eye on it. While I was sat there my backpain got worse, then it went to the front again. I just tried to keep talking and smiling through it! We didn’t spend too long there! Straight home, straight upstairs on the birthing ball and on the phone to Mum. The pains I was having were constant at that point, there was no break in between like I expected contractions to be. After talking to Mum for a while I went downstairs to moan and weep at Jeff! Ran a bath but it didn’t help, I actually felt worse because of the heat so out I got out spent a while groaning through pains in the bathroom. I decided there and then to call the midwives to find out what I should do. The ‘contraction’ went away and I called them, getting an engaged tone everytime! By the time I finally got through to someone I was getting another ‘contraction’. I was told to call the hospital because they can’t help me now I’ve been referred :roll:. I intended to wait until this ‘contraction’ was over before calling them so went upstairs and laid on the bed. Jeff came up to join me (all this time he’d been getting the house and animals ready so we could leave if this really was labour!) and talked me through it. It passed and we stayed up there for a bit. After a while it was obvious that my ‘contractions’ had stopped. Dammit! I had an idea that they weren’t the real thing as I’ve had no show and my waters are still intact.
It’s all an anti-climax now. We really thought this was it for a while there. 
So, here I am now. I’m getting a hospital bag ready and Jeff just reminded me to sort the MP3 player out with my favourite music. I’ve got my head around the idea of going to hospital and although I’d like to try for a natural birth there, those pains I had were excruciating and I don’t know if I’ll be able to cope being out of my own environment. We shall just have to see how it all goes.
If you would like to know if Indigo is a boy or a girl…
‘TMI’ Post
For those of you not in the know, TMI means too much information - usually of a bodily sort when related to pregnancy.
And for this reason I have seperated this entry. Those who can stomach reading about my bodily functions may proceed and hit the ‘Continue Reading’ button… those who can’t - are related to me and/or are male (this means you, Dad) can happily go about your business safe in the knowledge that you still don’t know much about my bodily functions!
Right, with that out of the way…
Is This The Start Of Something?
I hope not, I’m only 35 weeks!
I’m going to write what I posted on Baby and Bump -
Since I got out of bed this morning I’ve felt like crap.
My mid to lower back is aching, keep having BH’s, I feel sick and absolutely shattered and I don’t know whether my body is flushing itself or if I’ve got a stomach bug. I’m almost positive that baby desended into my pelvis at some point yesterday and is having a jolly good time down there! And he’s (yes I think it’s a boy) turning and twisting around reeeaallly sllooowwwlllyyy and it’s making me feel seasick!! One of my cats was on my lap earlier watching my belly moving, that was quite funny!
And DH is going around the house cleaning and tidying and I feel guilty as hell ‘cos I can’t help (although, he’s much better at housework than I am!).
Well, I’ve been doing some research on early labour signs and I’m ticking nearly all the boxes. Most sites are saying it could be a matter of hours or a couple of weeks. Baby has most definitely descended (spelt it right this time!) as my pelvis is feeling heavy, I feel flu-ish and I’ve had a tiny, weeny bit of a show. My belly keeps feeling tight so I’m guessing the BH’s are getting me ready for the go.
I’ve been waiting for this day for so long and I’ve been moaning about how I’ve been feeling the last couple of weeks but you know what? I feel like crying! I’m not ready for baby to come right now, I want my homebirth dammit! Of course Mother Nature cannot be stopped and if this is it then there’s very little I can do about that! I’m feeling a little bit scared now, which I assume is totally natural and I’m feeling a bit miffed because I haven’t had time to do perrenial massage, I’ve barely touched my hypnobirthing breathing exercises, I haven’t drunk enough RLT and worse still we haven’t really chosen any names!
I really hope that I’m just having an off day and that I’m a little bit sick. Baby is still very active so perhaps this is just all a figment of my imagination… But part of me wants this to be it! Oh I’m such a contradiction!
Watch this space!!!
UPDATE Feeling much better now! Paranoia must’ve gotten the best of me I think, still feeling tired but that’s to be expected. Found out from Mum earlier that there is a virus going around and then Jeff told me his brother hasn’t been well either, so I guess I picked it up from somewhere. I’m still keeping a close eye on how my body is behaving though, perhaps this is the start of something that will happen in a couple of weeks? I feel a bit silly now, haha!
