Want The Good News or Bad News?
What a day it has been, I really don’t know where to start.
At the beginning I suppose…
Went into the clinic this morning to have the scan, was told that Indigo is measuring around 10lbs and that the waist measurements are off the scale (meaning shoulders could be large too and lead to shoulder dysoctia). I’m also carrying A LOT of amniotic fluid. Chris (the sonographer/midwife) said there’s no way she’d be happy to let me give birth at home or even the birthcentre so she’s referred me to the hospital 
Jeff drove us to B & Q where we sat in the car park for a while to discuss our options. I cried, a lot and to be honest my head was so messed up at this point I didn’t know what to think. Instead I told Jeff to open the envelope Chris gave us containing Indigo’s gender. He didn’t want to know until Indi’s arrival but it really softened the blow for me (find out boy or girl later 
). Jeff is really concerned and just wants me and Indi here safe and sound. I wanted to carry on with my homebirth plan but this is my first baby and to be honest I’m scared now! I’m still confident in my body’s ability to birth our baby but I’m scared of anything going wrong and not getting to the hospital in time - the hospital is 30-40 minutes away. I’m feeling like a complete failure about this now, succumbing to ‘their’ protocol. Anyway, we went into B & Q to buy some herb seeds and pots. After waddling around for 10 minutes I started to get immense backpain and then it travelled around to the front. It got so bad I had to go to the bathroom to breathe through it! Needless to say we got out of there sharpish!
On the way home we stopped at Nancy’s (MIL) for a quick cup of tea. We didn’t mention the whole having to go to hospital thing, just that baby’s going to be big and they’re going to keep an eye on it. While I was sat there my backpain got worse, then it went to the front again. I just tried to keep talking and smiling through it! We didn’t spend too long there! Straight home, straight upstairs on the birthing ball and on the phone to Mum. The pains I was having were constant at that point, there was no break in between like I expected contractions to be. After talking to Mum for a while I went downstairs to moan and weep at Jeff! Ran a bath but it didn’t help, I actually felt worse because of the heat so out I got out spent a while groaning through pains in the bathroom. I decided there and then to call the midwives to find out what I should do. The ‘contraction’ went away and I called them, getting an engaged tone everytime! By the time I finally got through to someone I was getting another ‘contraction’. I was told to call the hospital because they can’t help me now I’ve been referred :roll:. I intended to wait until this ‘contraction’ was over before calling them so went upstairs and laid on the bed. Jeff came up to join me (all this time he’d been getting the house and animals ready so we could leave if this really was labour!) and talked me through it. It passed and we stayed up there for a bit. After a while it was obvious that my ‘contractions’ had stopped. Dammit! I had an idea that they weren’t the real thing as I’ve had no show and my waters are still intact.
It’s all an anti-climax now. We really thought this was it for a while there. 
So, here I am now. I’m getting a hospital bag ready and Jeff just reminded me to sort the MP3 player out with my favourite music. I’ve got my head around the idea of going to hospital and although I’d like to try for a natural birth there, those pains I had were excruciating and I don’t know if I’ll be able to cope being out of my own environment. We shall just have to see how it all goes.
If you would like to know if Indigo is a boy or a girl…
What ’should’ be my last midwife appointment.
Yep, earlier this afternoon I went to the clinic and saw Carol. Once again, my BP is normal, Indigo’s HB is normal and strong. S/he isn’t quite back to back… rather back to side, the same position s/he’s been in for weeks and weeks. I mentioned the contradictions between baby positioning and SPD exercises and she agreed that Indi’s not likely to turn before labour now and it’s more important that I’m comfortable and not in pain at this time.
She had a good feel of her/his position and size and has booked me in for a scan tomorrow morning! Her guesstimate of Indigo’s birth weight is 9lb and she said they usually ask women to go have a scan when it seems their baby’s going to be rather big. I could’ve declined obviously but it’s something to pass the time! And it’ll be nice seeing our little one inside me for one last time. It doesn’t make any difference what the scan says, I’ll still be having a homebirth with no pain relief… I’ll take their weight predictions with a pinch of salt, after all, they told my sister-in-law that her baby would be 14lb and after a cesarean she ended up being just 6lbs!!
Anyhoo, I’ll be back tomorrow morning to let you all know how it went. I really hope they give us a picture again! Fingers crossed!
Oh, and I’ve got a new page… a weekly calendar! It started of being a two week plan but I got stuck for ideas! If you can think of anything (not too strenuous!) please let me know!
Midwife Appointment Today (& a couple of bump pics)
Today I saw Paquita, another lovely midwife that I’ve seen once before. Julie had spoken to her briefly about my wishes and she mentioned it to me, making sure I still want a homebirth and zero drugs. Everything’s still normal and ok, well apart from one very minor thing but I’ll get to that in a minute.
My BP is normal, Indi’s heart rate is also normal and strong. I remembered to record his/her heartbeat on my mobile phone today, the quality isn’t very good but you can definitely make out the thump thump thumps! Then Paquita had a feel of his/her position and said… “It seems to be back to back”. Oh no!!! I knew it! She suggested doing the hands and knees position to try and ease Indi into anterior and I mentioned visiting Spinning Babies. So you can imagine what I’ve been doing all afternoon and night!!
Just as we were about to leave Carol came into the room (Carol was my original booking-in midwife who has been away for the past four months on another job). Unbelievably she recognised me! She couldn’t believe how big I’ve gotten and then went straight into talking about my opposition towards any drugs and the fact that I want to birth my own baby and have as little intrusion as possible! It seems the midwives have been talking about me… I must be a freak or something, haha! She didn’t have any aggresion, just wanted to make sure that I was sure, all the midwives have been totally cool about letting me go it alone and I’ve reassured them that I do want their presence ‘just in case’. It was nice seeing her again and even nicer that she remembered me, perhaps in a town like this it’s not easy to forget the hippy girl with a long haired husband, 17 cats and a dog! I told her that if she ended up being the attending midwife that we now have two rooms downstairs instead of one and that the animals will be kept seperate from her… much to her relief!
Anyway, all in all it was a good appointment. I’m glad Paquita told me the baby’s position, now I can work at trying to move him/her. Of course this may not work but I have to give it a go!
Oh, and just for kicks here’s two pictures Jeff took when we went for a walk with Skylar yesterday - 39 weeks today (well it’s 2am, that means it’s Thursday now!).
My First & Last Comic Strip Attempt!
In other news… Had midwife appointment this morning and it was really boring! Lesley (the midwife) turned up early - I was half way through vacuuming and still not dressed for visitors! She was only here for 15-20 minutes, took blood pressure, checked Indi’s heartbeat and position, quickly went through my birth plan then told me I’ll be back under Carol’s care from next week then left.
Indi is still in the same position and still *just* engaged and his/her heartbeat is still nice and strong (so’s mine apparently). So that’s it really! I’ve booked a midwife appointment for next week at the clinic instead of home. It’s too stressful making sure the house is tidy enough and that the cats and dog are out of the way by 9am. This way I also have a time instead of wondering if she’ll arrive at 9am or 12pm!
Enough of that anyway. 38 weeks today! According to Baby Gaga, Indi weighs between 6 and 8lbs now… I’m guessing s/he is on the heavier side of the estimate! Braxton Hicks contractions are getting much more frequent and stronger now but there’s no other signs that Indi will be arriving anytime soon. I guess I just have to wait it out like everyone else! Damn my impatience!
Midwife Appointment
A couple of days late, but oh well!
Lovely midwife Julie came on Thursday and stayed for over an hour! We talked loads about Ina May, Mary Cronk and homebirthing in general. Then she told me that she won’t be in this country for the whole of April - oh no! She’s taking her children to Australia for a month, it’s where they were born and she’s looking forward to catching up with old friends. Can’t begrudge her that now can I?! But she’s told me about two other midwives who are very pro-homebirth. I’ve met both of them at previous appointments - Paquita, who I saw at this appointment and Lesley, the student midwife’s supervisor at this appointment. They’re all really hands-off, preferring to stay in the background and letting the mother do what comes naturally… I love these women!
Julie said she wished that she could be there for mine, she’s never been to a completely natural homebirth before and (I’m going to gloat now!) said that I seem very well read and prepared - something they don’t see very often apparently! Ok, gloating over! She asked to borrow my Ina May book after I’ve given birth but I wonder if I’ll ever see her again? Probably not.
Onto antenatal stuff… Indi is still measuring LFD (large for dates) but hasn’t exceeded the growth chart really. I was offered a scan again but I declined, again. Heartbeat is 148bpm and s/he is head down and 3/5 which means ‘lower but most is still above the brim. She didn’t say the term for it but head down and back lying against my side was how Indi’s position was described. It was hard for her to really feel where the baby was because s/he kept moving. She is fairly certain that s/he will stay head down now and not go into a breech position. Julie did say a few times “that feels like a heel”, it was nice hearing an actual body part mentioned for some strange reason! She reckons Indigo will weigh around 8lbs, it’ll be interesting to see if she’s right. My own blood pressure is still good 120/70 and well everything’s going fine. I didn’t mention the SPD, it’s been fine recently.
So much more was said but it was mainly about births in general and other people’s attitudes. It was a breath of fresh air talking to someone who didn’t think I was making too much of a big deal about my birthing experience. Someone else also believes that it should be special. I’ll be getting a phone call from either Paquita or Tracey in the week to arrange my next appointment which should be on 3rd April.
Let’s get back to normality!
Now that everything has been settled it’s time to get back to normality.
Our little Indigo has started to drop down into my pelvis! How do I know? Well, bump looks smaller and is lower and heavier and my hips and pelvis feel heavier too. Still getting a lot of movement, this baby never seems to stop! My ribs get the worst of it if I lie on my left side at night. I can almost feel the shape of little feet sticking out here there and everywhere! But I just can’t catch it on video! Everytime I feel movement I grab the camera and the little begger decides to stop moving, see s/he causes trouble already!
I’ve put on so much weight though, almost embarassed to write it down - 51lbs! That’s over 3 and a half stone! It’s no wonder if feel and look like an elephant! I can put about 1 stone of it down to the baby and placenta, amniotic fluid etc but still! If it weren’t for this SPD I might be able to exercise but I know that the less I do the better I feel so what’s a girl to do?! I’m not going to bother with physio or anything like that, it’s a waste of their time seeing as I’m so close to D-Day.
Indigo’s got one more week to hang on and then s/he can arrive whenever, preferrably sooner rather than later please little one! I haven’t had anymore ’signs’ of pre-labour except crampy, period-y type pains when I’m in bed and increased Braxton Hicks contractions. I went on to that Spinning Babies website that that student midwife suggested and now I’m even more paranoid! I tried out the baby map thingy they have on there but Indigo moves around so much and I’m still feeling movement lower down which (on the website) points to back to back or occiput posterior, although the ‘normal’ position says that you can feel back and butt in front at the top and feet kicking out at the side which is also what I’m feeling. Oh no, my baby is back to front!!! See why I’m so paranoid now?!
Julie the wonderful midwife is coming here tomorrow morning so I have to get everything ready for her this afternoon. I washed all the babygros and vests a couple of days ago and still need to put them away and tidy the upstairs bedrooms. Have to get up early in the morning, feed the zoo, put most of the cats out in the run - hopefully it’ll be nice and sunny for them - put clean throws on the sofa and chairs and will probably have to vacuum again. She could come at any time in the morning from 9.00 so we have to be ready by then. I don’t know exactly what she is going to be doing, I presume it’s just the homecheck and I know I’ve got some forms to sign. I don’t think she’ll have a feel of where baby is - haven’t got a surgery bed here! Will she need a sample again? I’d better get one ready just in case. Our appointments should increase to fortnightly now. Unless I go into labour before then I’ll have 2 more appointments, 1 at 38 weeks and the last 1 at 40 weeks - assuming I don’t go over 40 weeks that is.
Anyway, that’s all I can think of right now. I’ll come back and edit if there’s more 
Response from Angela of homebirth.org.uk
Angela was the first person I contacted as it was her website where I got the information. If you’re planning a homebirth or would like to know more about planning a homebirth in the UK then you couldn’t do any better than visiting Angela’s website!
This is the response I received…
The legal situation regarding attending births is intended to stop
unqualified people passing themselves off as professionals, not to
dictate who first lays hands on the baby. The government has clarified that by
‘attending the birth’ they mean assuming responsibility for care. If
you follow the link to the AIMS article (this is the very same article that the midwife copied and pasted!) which you’ll find on the page about unattended birth, you may find that helpful.
Catching the baby does not constitute attending the birth as a
professional, nor acting as a midwife. It is a common confusion and
it’s not unusual for midwives to believe that only they are allowed to catch
the baby. I suspect this reveals a lack of experience with active births as
it sort of suggests they’re used to the mother being in a situation where
nobody would question that the midwife ‘does things’ while the baby is
being born, but at homebirths it’s quite common for a woman to catch
her own baby. However, it is neither necessary nor sufficient to catch the
baby in order to act as a midwife. For instance, no midwife has ever caught
any of my babies, but they have always been there, acting as a midwife…
they have been watching, monitoring, and able to take responsibility in case
of an emergency. I just didn’t want their hands anywhere near the business
end
Thanks a lot for that Angela, it’s always great to have a personal experience to quote as well! And… what typos?
Who Can Catch Baby - THE FACTS!
Yesterday in my search for the truth about the legalities of who can ‘catch’ the baby, I emailed Nadine Edwards, the Vice Chair of AIMSUK and Angela Horn, owner of homebirth.org.uk.
This is the response from Nadine Edwards…
“Sometimes midwives are a little unsure about this - but you are
entitled
to catch your own baby. Some midwives encourage women to do this -
especially in water. If you don’t want to at the time, your husband can
do this.There is no legal requirement for a midwife to catch a baby. Her
responsibility is to be there if called, and to offer you the best care
she can.”
This May Turn Ranty
It’s nearly 2am and I cannot sleep thanks to a comment made about MY birth plan. At the time that the comment was made I said thanks and just chose to ignore the ‘advise’. But after having a few days to think about it, it has really irritated me. Too many times in the past have I let people tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. Too many times have I laid down and not questioned their logic or researched for myself. That’s not me anymore. I have deleted the comment now as I feel having such a negative thing on my blog is no good for me, but I will write about my own feelings on this persons comments…
-
Whether it is viewed as negative or positive should not be the concern of anyone but myself. I actually think that my birth plan is very positive compared to the one I made previously and I find it very ironic that a lot of the information on my birth plan is from a site that has been recommended by midwives!
-
If I do not want an episiotomy then I shall put down that I do not want an episiotomy. I do have plans on avoiding tearing which I shall fully impliment at the time. It is very unlikely that I will continue to refuse being cut if it is desperately needed!
-
Vitamin K oral may not be absorbed so well if the mother herself has low vitamin K levels. I will be taking supplements myself that shall be passed on through my breastmilk. The fact that I am allowing them to give my baby vit K at all should be good enough considering that I shall be non-vaxing.
-
What I do or not need in my birth plan is up to me.
-
How I birth my baby is up to me. Telling me that I might not be able to catch my own baby because of my own incapabilities does not help.
-
It’s all very well giving me information that has been copied and pasted from a site regulary attended by midwives but where is the rest of the information? I have visited the site where I found the option of my husband catching our baby and emailed them to find out their thoughts. I have also emailed midwives to find out about the loopholes.
I have my own midwife (fully qualified and experienced) who I trust completely to let me know what is or isn’t possible.
So, I’d advise those people who think they’re helping to just leave it. If there is something that cannot be done I will find out about it myself. Thanks for trying.
BANG! And the bubble bursts.
My dreams of becoming a midwife are over before they’ve even begun.
I knew it’d be a hard slog to achieve, what with me having to re-do qualifications and whatnot but I wasn’t prepared for how much and how long it would take.
Study time total is 8 YEARS. 3 years of which is full-time on the midwifery course.
Total cost is £4,200 without expenses.
All that is time and money that I just can’t afford. So there we have it, I’m not going to be a midwife. In a couple of years I’ll look into training as a doula, at the moment there are absolutely no courses near me… in fact there are no courses in Wales!
I wasn’t looking to start any training until my little one was old enough anyway, but now at least I know. Oh well…
